Thursday, November 18, 2010

Her strength

When Emma wakes up in the night she'll turn on the light, sit by the door, and call for us over and over or start crying. If she calls for us, I know that she's going to be somewhat draining. She must feel somewhat crappy to not sleep, but well enough to run a rat race at 2:30 in the morning. If she wakes up crying, I know she feels horrible-she's sick Emma. Early this morning, Emma woke me up crying. When that happens, I always jump out of bed with my gloves on-meaning a huge rush of adrenaline comes over me. It sure does help in the moments when this inadequate mommy needs a push to deal with some situations. Really-she's 50 lbs now.

The hard moments we've had and times we are tested to the very core vanish when I see sick Emma. I'm telling you, as a parent of a child with special needs, there is pain in watching them suffer. They go through a lot, big or small, there is always something. Emma runs around with different illnesses that would knock me off my feet for a couple of days. She can do that, she's built up a tolerance. The interesting part is that for some reason the most tender moments with her come when she's sick Emma. She comforts us, she loves us. More times than I can count, she's put the palm of her hand up to my cheek and given me this look. A look that is so wise and comforting. I see her true character shine through in some of her toughest moments-always with sick Emma moments.

Her insulin pump site occluded in the night-went bad and stopped delivering her medicine. On top of that she has another cold. Since the end of September she has had a cold, a sinus infection, a yeast infection, another cold, another sinus infection and now a brand new cold. Even dinky colds spike her sugar nonstop and create a lot of issues for us to deal with. The no insulin combined with an illness created a situation that was on the scary side today. She was white as a ghost, lethargic and kept lifting her jammies to show me her stomach hurt. All I know is that her sugar was over 500. She was too sick to send to school and it took until dinner to get a normal blood sugar.

I know it wasn't an easy day for her. Yet, she was so sweet and tender all day, not one meltdown. Her strength is amazing.


Presley family said...

You are such a sweetheart!!! Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and for your sweet comment!!!! I am with you on making fast friends with "special Mommies" that I have never met before. What a sweet little girl you have!!!!!
BIG HUGS to you my new friend!

Emily@Little Forever Family said...

What a beautiful girl!!! And truly I think those with special needs are the purest (although difficult at times) and the most sweetest spiritual giants to walk amongst us.